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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

a path taken

This journey fated.  I am here.  Music fills me.  Pumping fast through my veins.  A heart pulsing. I live.  I feel strong and free.  You are seated next to me.  Hands entwined hearts connected.  With you I dare.  A soul beautiful meant to be.  You begin with me. 

A soul lost.  Renewed hope. A second chance.  In you I dare.  You grant me this wish.  A desire fulfilled.  No judgement.  You complete me.  And we dance.  The absence of Sun and cloaked in darkness we discover.  Your gift to me.  Truth raw and exposed.  Linger here in this moment.  You give me hope.

Faith ignorant of religion demands attention.  Look to see what I already know.  It is written.  The stars light my path.  I am here.  This is my destiny.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Mirror

I looked at you.

And I saw.  Good.  Kind.  Warmth. 

A heart broken and wanting. 

A soul that is fragile. 

In this you create. 

Your mind whispers of genius.

You dare.  You leap.  This heart wavers. 

My heart weeps.

Each gesture telling.  Your truth real.  Honesty unmasked. 

With you I am light. 

Free. 

From you I doubt. 

We can fly. 

A serenade.  This music. 

Your heart speaks.  You are art. 

What is your story?  

Friday, May 26, 2017

I am not your fault

When I said goodbye
I know you cried
and questioned why
I am not your fault

The sorrow in me
Begged to be free
and just let me be
I am not your fault

I felt so alone
But please know
I had to go
I am not your fault

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Of this child

This war.  Insanity decries our freedoms.  Takes our children.  Our hearts bleed.  Innocence lost this false cry in the name of a higher power. Madmen breathe in our air as they lay with the sheep.  Night stars light up their sky.  I wonder whether his mother weeps.

A single candle vigilant, voices our fear our disgust.  A mourning reserved paying false homage in colors and song we come together as one.

Silenced her memory lives.  Rest eternal we pray not in vain.  She carries her heart in her hands.  Her life no more.  He does not dance at her wedding.  First dance kiss love lay covered beneath shallow soil unrequited. 

This mother weeps.  This loss unimagined briefly comforted in community.  The crowd dissipates.  She remains forever wanton for what she cannot have.  This daughter.  His sibling.  Her friend.  His wife.  Their son.  Gone.  Who is victor in this war unclaimed? 

Today we lose our children.  On this 22nd day a loss unimaginable.  This memory fades.  In the tombs and stories of our history brethren lost who fights.  This humanity.  This soul broken.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

broken

You break me every time.
Your mistake left me behind.
Your freedom gave me mine.
In your wake I am fine.

When I pass through this world knowing your name
To free my soul from the hurt and the pain
I am reborn another time and space
This memory of you will forever fade

In your touch I am sure
Daring my lips I explore
Searching from my very core
In you I am much more

In this life I will be finally free
Tasting the rain in a field of green
Sinfully yours I am filled with need
Touch me now feel my heat

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Less then perfect

When they tell you over and over again.  A few spoken works ripping your insides making you believe what lays dormant.  In wait you feel shadows of dark slowly consuming what little good you may actually still feel.  You are so easy to convince.  Who you are a seedling planted by those who soil your goodness.  They win advantage in their game. So desperate are you for connection.

A sense of belonging scattered with his every word.  Your heart dismissed his promises empty, the silence wrapped tightly strangling all chance all hope.  An estrangement, false moments pulled together to create something fallen short of real.  Your mother mourns her loss devastating, her reality diminished reminding you of your failures alive in her mind.  Words spoken in anger in confusion.  They draw real blood every time. 

Is he haunted by yesterday?  As victim his wounds carry no remorse strengthened through want of freedom.  In her reach to protect she pushes it all away.  Her anguish silent her tears unshed.  She smiles to show the world she is unbreakable.  Distance and time dampened at core she is lost.  Her path burdened with what he struggled against choosing leaving. 

Keeper of all that is lost your chest heavy, too denied escape.  Your crowns scatter fighting for who you truly are.  Keeper, mother, daughter, wife, sister clinging to the bits left over.  Last words calling you unloved keeping you tethered.  A pawn.  A child no longer.  You pretend wearing nothing.  What is unsaid, fills you.  For now it remains less than perfect.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

When there is love

When there is love.  Joy lives.  You are strength inside. A shell imperfect unseen.  A fire fueled of ember burning bright.  If there is hope.  Faith restores.  A soul fulfilled.  In harmony bliss is savored a touch yet tender. 

This flower in bloom a meadow of fragrant beauty.  A gentle breeze light touch kisses tenderly the curve of my lips.  A warmth inhaled whispered in touch rich with desire.  Captive heart.  A voice pure, simple and real.  I discover me. 

When there is light.  A shadow in wait dances alone.  Her face upturned a blush.  There is power deep in her belly.  She believes in herself.  She is strong.  She is free.

When there is song.  She dances.  She moves liquid fluid lustful.  In self she soars.  Courageous and worthy deserving.  She is finally living.  Dreams of who she can be.  Who she is.

When there is love.  A heart uncaged. What she dreamed, wanted her reality.  This kindness this laughter.  Her spirit reborn.  She rediscovers a girl lost.  A sorrow that is past gilds the path to what is fresh and new.  In this new normal her soul light her heart open.  When there is freedom she becomes filled this heart with happiness.  She matters.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

This madness

A slide into madness.  Darkness lingers muddling fantasy with reality betrayal in the shadows.  Her eyes and voice and touch feel real.  Her descent hidden from prying eyes.  Words that hurt fierce piercing.  He says she was his favorite.  She preaches prosaic her darling baby.  None are you.  You give.  You bleed.

Hand held you wish upon yesterday dreams. You felt loved.  She screams.  You are a failure.  You need help.  You smile.  A façade of acceptance begging serenity wanting pleading an escape where your tears can fall freely.  Sorrow is deep evil whispering, pressing taking more of your sanity your peace.

I am alone.  That which rooted me is no longer.  Adrift the sandalwood tosses about gently pushing against the tide washing into the shore.  I seek connection in chaos wanting stability in false relationships rather finding refuge in what perhaps I cannot have.  Orphaned, I am free but am tethered to the burdens of my original keepers. 

Who celebrates me?  When is it my turn to dance my evolution underscored in a symphony of music.  My freedom within my grasp dare I breathe needing only to reach.  In this new normal who claims me?  She is unhappy.  Her soul cries for the familiar.  She suffers from a life forced.  Who owns her unhappiness?  I beg to be free. I beg for my self.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

The club

A simple post and invitation to the modern woman an intent to inspire & celebrate the art of fine literature.  Wanton for stimulating conversation reaching new thresholds of mind and soul liberating the humdrum unleashing the woman into the folds of discovery.  This collection of individuals unique in voice raise their glasses eager to begin this new chapter.  Humble beginnings cautious in the spoken word a careful retelling of the story.  We mark our pages, dog-eared flips with underscored plot points worthy of the talking stick.  Healthy discussion lively debate reddened cheeks for the ingénue as we move unhindered of the overt sexual undertones glancing nervously our daring foray amid virtual strangers.  We evolve.

Societal mores that shackle our thoughts our words imprison our voices become loosened in time and with the advent of the wine goblet.  A thread of comfort in the slightly inebriated state introduces enlightenment and wonder at our genius.  Enthrallment lessens honoring no longer the literary giants delving sinfully into all that stokes the fires deep in our bellies.  Boorish displays of raucous feverish activity a decided dancehall exhibitionism dethroning the puritan.

Gatherings outside the rules of the evening sucking back pints throwing darts telling our secrets.  We have bonded.  Exposing the club as the thinly veiled gaggle of bored housewives and singulars desirous for freedom from the everyday one night each month.  Passing the torch continuing the pretense of book selection keeps alive the cloak and dagger of our world.  Adding costumes and themes we are broadening our delights to explore our innermost selves in this trusted circle of friends. 

This girl.  Shy and awkward with a single seed planted has taken root.  Laughter and escape.  Freedom from judgement enjoyment in self.  A few guldens from my pocket for the wealth of sharing ideas, expression and joy with this unlikely group of women.  We are gray hairs and short skirts, cleavage and intellect.  We are loud and quiet.  Tentative and meek, daring and prideful.  The written word our bridge our friendship our mainstay.  

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

In his memory

Do we mourn the soul less than perfect?  Do we forgo the false in memory of the man?

Forgive each of us our failures.  Gentle pulls the heartstrings when fear scores chance.  Vivid are the mainstay of his gifts.  A delight in the word splayed across a page spinning fantasy, tragedy and romance.  Teacher of my strength lifting high a belief in all I could be.  Quelling the shy and awkward delivering actions where wishes breathed.  Beribboned pedigree through an unrelenting iron vision.  I blossomed emergent wings alight in his shadow.  He was my courage, voice, worth and my heart.  His daughter.

A thin veil of glass a shattering of this perfect self, shards of a soul undefined an untethered identity flailing in insecurity.  His memories fade in distance.  Selfless tears to mourn all I remembered to be true and good and joyous.  A family broken renewed in what continues to bless us a firmer hold on those who remain true in this journey.  

Sorrow and loss of a childhood hero I will forever miss my dad.  There is no grief.  No remorse.  There is no grace in a path taken without honor.